Wow, 2012 already! 2011 had a lot of ups and downs. I hope 2012 will be a good year and I look forward to it.

My medication has been causing my anxiety, and I just wish I would go away. I have a doctor's appointment coming up and hopefully this will stop once and for all. I'm tired of feeling afraid all the time. It got really bad right before Thanksgiving, then went away and came back during Christmas. I don't know why. I'm so frustrated with this. Anyway, I'm trying to think positive. That's all I can do for now.

I was 17, a junior in high school. It was a typical morning, on my way to school. Then I heard on the radio about the attack. I didn't really think it was that serious, that was until I got to school. Everyone was talking and saying, 'We're going to war.' That really scared me. At the time my cousin was serving in the army in Korea, and I was afraid they would transfer him to Iraq or Afghanistan (He actually was not transferred. He finished his service in Korea and then served for 9 months in Iraq in 2007. He is now inactive.)

Anyways, I was very afraid of what else could happen.I still remember the mood that day, and the cloudly overcast.

I miss you so much. I'll never forget the wonderful memories you gave me <3

It's been two years since you left us Mike. Words can't tell you how much I miss you. I hope you are finally at peace now. I love you forever more. I know I'll never completely heal from the pain and sadness.

I haven't given up on you and never will.

Finally done with my classes for the summer. Dad and I had a great trip to Yosemite last week and I celebrated my 27th birthday. I hate feeling so old :(

I'm renting a nice house that my parent's friends own. It's beautiful and big, and a in a beautiful neighborhood, and only $250 a month for utilities. I'll be moving in a couple weeks. I feel very excited but nervous. I just hope it will all work out.

It's almost summer, though it sure doesn't feel like it. We've had so much rain and some thunderstorms. We even had a couple small tornadoes in the last week! Weird. Where is summer when you need it?

Wow, been a long time since I updated. Anyways, things have been pretty crazy. I'm hoping soon to contact the Department of Immigration and possibly work there to prepare to work as paralegal in Immigration Law.

Had a wonderful Spring Break in San Francisco and the Wine Country. Tara came from Boston and we saw Janet Jackson's show.She was so amazing! We had so much fun, and one of the staff ladies passed on a letter I wrote to Janet ;)

Today is Easter, and it's been a nice one. Went to church with mom and dad and we're having an early ham and macaroni salad dinner. Life is good.

Wow, it's 2011 already? Time sure goes by fast. Christmas was quiet but nice, got some great things like clothes and bubble bath and books. I even got a MJ Experience Wii game. It's pretty hard. (Thanks Tara for that MJ book you sent me! I love it).

New Years Eve we had some people over and drank a lot of champagne. It was pretty fun.

I hope 2011 will be a better year.The last couple of years have been hard. I'm just hoping things will improve.

Hey everyone, sorry it's been a while since I updated. I finished my second semester of my paralegal courses. I think my finals went pretty well.My Legal Research class nearly killed me, it was pretty tough. I think things turned out alright though.

I'm ready for christmas and excited. I'm expecting an Orianthi CD SIGNED in the mail sometime this week and I won some MJ goodies from an MJ trivia on Twitter. I also now have a signed Adam Lambert calendar! I'm greatful that if I have kids one day they'll be able to enjoy all the wonderful MJ memorabilia and other valuable stuff I have.

2011 seems uncertain right now. My mom will be losing her teaching job next June. I know she loves her job, and it will be hard for her. Hopefully she'll find some opportunity.I'm hoping to find some work next semester in the Paralegal field. I need to go in the work center at the college campus and see what I can find once classes start again. Praying things will work out.

This week has been not so good. I had to stay at my sister's place and take care of her pets while she and dad went to Santa Barbara to clean out the last of the stuff in Grammie's house. I hate being alone there, it feels creepy and weird for some reason. My Legal Research class has been getting hard. I'm just trying to keep up, though it's so complicated.

I'm really pissed at Oprah now taking advantage of the Jackson family and interviewing Lisa Marie.I used to like Oprah, but nowadays she's really crossed the line. I'm totally done with her.

I'm just hoping things will get better.

What an incredible weekend! I went to Evalie's wedding, and it was so lovely. It was held at Paradise Cove in Malibu right on a hill overlooking the beach.Evalie's friend Hannah and I arrived a couple hours early and we ate the cafe there and walked on the beach.It was so gorgeous. The wedding was really beautiful.Evalie and Heidi both looked so happy. Everyone was so nice there. They had a photo lounge for group photos and they had a tarot reader too. I had a great time meeting so many of Evalie's friends. It got pretty cold later on that night, but thankfully they had heating lanterns. The decorations were very pretty and very tasteful. I like Evalie and Heidi's style.

Yesterday morning, dad picked me up and he was kind enough to take me to Forest Lawn for Michael's birthday. I really wanted to do this for him. Dad and I did get lost because Mapquest gave us crap directions, but we got there eventually.There was a group of fans there holding hands in a circle and we all sang happy birthday and I left a few things for Michael on this platform where they had all kinds of flowers, cards and gifts. You could definitely feel the love.Unfortunately, dad and I couldn't stay very long.I think it wasn't until it was time to go that it hit me that Michael was really buried behind those Mausoleum doors, which had two security people guarding them.I was just happy I was able to pay my respects on my special day.

It really was a great weekend, meeting such wonderful people.A great way to end the summer.